>You Can Check Out Any Time You Like But You Can Never Leave…

Because it's not enough for me to be at home during winter break, we decided to take the show on the road. We survived the car trip, although in usual fashion, the kids spent the last fifteen minutes in complete meltdown.

Within minutes of being in the hotel room in Portland, the kids has trashed the room, were watching both televisions, and we had unplugged all the phones to prevent Fiona from making any more prank calls.

We're back in the car now. Two days in Portland … The low point was in a sushi restaurant … A restaurant at which we can never again show our faces. At the end of the meal, I let out such a scream that I scared the diners half to death. (I did that with one hand clamped over fiona's mouth in a futile attempt to quiet her.) I would not be surprised if a picture of the Geller Seven is now circulating all restaurants in the Portland area.

Of course we have had moments of sibling bliss… A few minutes of quiet, sitting in the hotel room late at night, listening to all five kids in a symphonic snore. And as usual, these moments block out all the hairy awfulness of traveling with kids. And these are the moments we remember when plan our next trip. Which we're doing already.

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  1. >Now, just think how any future vacation drama will pale in comparison with the ordeal you just went through. Lots of hugs all around. Have another scotch. –D

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