Someone raced home from school, made a pit stop in the bathroom and headed outside in the rain.
I caught him with a raw egg shoved in each of his pockets. Really.
I saw a grown man dressed like a bug today. I saw a small, tortured dog squeezed into a pig costume. I saw a woman dressed like an umbrella. I said, “Nice umbrella costume,” to which she replied:
“I’m a jellyfish. Whatever.”
I never really liked it, but now I officially hate Halloween. Most of all, I want to find the bugger who told Bennett about eggs and toilet paper.