THE RULES: Meatless May

Here are the rules as decided by members of the family, but mostly me: 

1. There will be no meat or poultry consumed in this house during the month of May.

2. When we eat out as a family, we will eat as vegetarians.

3. If you want to go hardcore and be a vegan this month, that’s fine. Just don’t lord it over the rest of us. 

4. When you go a to a friend’s house, you do not have to be a vegetarian. If someone’s parents have cooked chicken for dinner, you do not need to refuse it and start singing the praises of Meatless May. It is more important to be a good guest. While vegetarianism is in, wankerish behavior is not. (This also applies to Rule Number Three.)

5. You will all try new food. In general, new food tastes gross until you have had at least five bites of it. So, have six bites. (Otherwise known as the Six Bite Rule.)

6. Rule Number Five does not apply to Sidney. She can keep to her steady diet of Nutella, cheese sticks, yellow peppers, and egg whites. 

7. What happens at school, stays at school. I am not willing to look the gift horse of a hot lunch program in the mouth. (I don’t like that I had to write “horse” and “hot lunch” in the same sentence.)

8. No complaining. About anything. Please. Just for a month.

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