Biblio-F#*ked.

Dear School Librarian,

Thank you. I love that my child gets to spend time with you. I love that she picks a book she likes and reads it. I am so happy that she is doing something other than watching crappy tv or begging to play on my phone, or fighting with her sister, really I am. But please, I beg you. If you are going to send a book home with her, please send an invoice along with it, because it is now a well established rule that I end up paying for any and all library books that come into my home. Also, how many books on seahorses are there? Because she has now checked out THREE and lost of all them somewhere in the bowels of this house.

It is that time of year. We are all falling apart. Those of us without any executive function skills are in particularly bad shape. To wit: 

1. I drove a child to a pajama-themed birthday party carrying a Beanie Boo only to learn that the Beanie Boo birthday party was happening at a different date for a different friend. Said child shot me daggers when she saw everyone else in PJS and she was wearing a dress. 

2. When I drove to the Beanie Boo party a week later and saw no other cars in the driveway I quickly checked my phone for the invite only to learn that the party was weeks away. Same child. Same daggers. (I did the same thing a week later.)

3. I left off a best friend for one of my own kids’ parties. I have no business making parties. I especially have no business making parties this time of year. 

4. Children fighting early yesterday morning. Packed two of them into the minivan and drove to the Botanical Gardens. Got miserably lost in the Bronx. Had to park in Fordham overflow. Paid for parking but could not figure out how to get into lot. Drove home. (Same kid. Same daggers.) 

And I just received 4 emails from teachers asking me to come in for end of year events. One of them is over two hours long. I think I am already going to be sick that day. The only way I am going in to school is if I can find those damn library books. 

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