Tag Archives: back to school

Crafting (or Why I Dislike Back to School Night)

I have gotten some emails as of late asking me why I haven’t written in the past two weeks. Truthfully, I had no idea two weeks went by. The back to school blitz is unrivaled in its ability to completely throw my life into complete disorder. I do not understand Back to School Nights because I do not understand why it makes sense for parents to be gone at night during the first weeks of school when we are most needed at home. Why not have them before school starts when the only thing being interrupted is marathon TV watching? I also do not understand why schools need to force parents to go back to school and relive all of their school day hell right at the beginning of the school year. (When it appeared that I could not get a seat in the back of one class, and that the only free seat was in the front, directly under the teacher’s watchful glare, I broke down and wept to a friend (“You have no idea how stressful this is for me.”); she gave me her seat.)

But I digress.

Another reason I have not written is because I have been crafting, so to speak. We are having work done on our house, because like all old things, it may look okay on the outside but inside it is falling apart.

While there are workers of all sorts in the house, I have been trying to keep myself busy.

So I did this:


The inside of this china cabinet was white until I got busy with some green paint and a brush.


And this awesomeness was once brass with little leopard shades (to match the leopard trim in the room.)

I have, however stopped crafting now as I realize that I seem to have reached the end of my ability and anything else that I do will cost me more to fix than to find someone else to do it in the first place.

That’s right – I’m back.

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Filed under back to school, children, home decor, home improvement, New York City, parenting

How I Made It Through a Summer Without Diet Coke.

This time last summer we had moved cross country. At some point I realized that the entire move was fueled by a combination of a potent desire for change and copious amounts of Diet Coke.


At the high (or low) point of the move, I was mainlining about four liters a day. It got so bad that more than one person said to me: “For someone who is so careful about what she puts in her body, you sure do drink a lot of poison.”

And there it was. During the year I get by on coffee and tea, and neither in ridiculous amounts. Come summer, however, I rely on buckets of fizzy poison to make it through the day.

I was determined that this year was going to be different. Sure we were moving again. Sure the kids were underfoot for weeks on end (camp was here and there, and much appreciated, but it seemed to be the exception to the rule), but I was going to KICK the Diet Coke habit.


The first order of business was to come up with a substitute. Every night I made a batch of iced tea, stuck it in the fridge, and prayed for rain.

For the most part I was just fine. There were certainly moments where I could smell and taste the goodness that is a cold Diet Coke, where the very thought of the bubbles up my nose and the aspartame in my bloodstream sent me into shivers. But I pushed on and even though iced mint/green tea tastes nothing like Diet Coke, nor does it deliver the same electric thrill, I made it to Labor Day.

This week is a little tricky. New York City was the last corner of earth to start school. I watched all of you send your kids back to school while mine stayed neatly underfoot in full end-of-summer meltdown. To make matters worse, my kids go to schools that are under the impression that small children need to be EASED INTO a full day of school. (Never mind that some of them did a full day of camp with nary a transition or that the little ones are the ones you are most ready to outsource come September.)

My little ones go for fifteen minutes a day for about a week. (Hence, the only easing happening seems to be on my end as I currently feel as though I’m being slowly dipped in a large bucket of full mental collapse.)

By next week, when school actually starts, I may be a complete fucking mess, but I will also be a complete fucking aspartame-free mess.

Victory is mine.

Sort of.


Filed under New York City, parenting, Summer, summer camp

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Can someone please explain this bungee-chord-butt-floss-back-to-school display awfulness? I get sore just looking at it.



Filed under children, parenting, school