Tag Archives: Female Satisfaction

>Thanksgiving: Female Satisfaction

>I’m lousy at public displays of appreciation. I cringe through Thanksgiving meals at which I’m forced to be sincere in front of more than.. one person. But I know I have parental responsibilities, so I asked the kids what they were thankful for, wondering what they’d come up with — and because of my own predisposition to private displays, I asked them one at a time… sans audience.

The always profound Bennett: I’m thankful that Archie Manning was able to make babies. (For those of you who don’t know – he sired the famed football player Peyton Manning, and his brother Eli. I can’t believe I know this.)

Pensive Efram: I’m thankful for my friends, my family, my health and that I know stuff.

Sweet Frances: I’m thankful for you and Daddy.

Pissed off Fiona: What? I have no idea what you’re asking me. Please send that stupid baby back.

Sidney: burp.

And me? I’m thankful for M, and for five kids who make me laugh. And I’ve saved the biggest laugh of the week for now. (Even funnier then Bennett, examining a pacifier and asking me if that’s what real boobs feel like.) Here it is:

M took Bennett to run some errands.. including a trip to the drug store. They walked passed the section with birth control, etc., and Bennett saw a huge sign with, among other things, the words ‘FEMALE SATISFACTION’ written on it. Under the sign was a coupon dispenser for KY lubricant. Bennett ripped off a coupon and declared, “I think Mummy could use some female satisfaction, don’t you?”

I wonder how old he needs to be before I can mortify him with the story.

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