Tag Archives: snow

You spin me right round…

Winter in NYC. First snowfall and my shitty minivan got stuck at the bottom of a hill. Our house is on the top of the hill. Far better drivers than me (everyone I know) struggled to get the car up.

An inch of snow and a minor hill and I was totally grounded.

It’s going to be a long winter.

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This morning I drove the van to a tire place and got snow tires put on. This is my last ditch attempt to let the van show its worthiness.

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The tire guy told me I had to bring the car in to have the tires rotated at the end of the winter.

“Um, excuse me sir,” I whisper. “But don’t the tires rotate on their own? I mean isn’t that what tires do?”

Blank stare. Awkward laugh.

Apparently rotate means switch places.

Another day, another lesson.

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Filed under driving, Minivans, New York City, weather, winter

Panic Provisions

My eleven year old and his dad had to watch their team lose the Superbowl last night. Even I could tell that it was not a pretty game, and I foresaw a particular ugly Monday morning ahead of us. (Watching sporting events on the east coast is especially exhausting because they don’t get started until about six, which is precisely when I start to shut down.)

Fortunately for all of us, we awoke to a snow day.

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(That’s the Hudson you see peeking through the trees.)

In my Superbowl euphoria, I had apparently missed all weather forecasts because this snow storm, which looks to have dumped close to a foot of snow, took me by complete surprise.

I asked M to stop at Fairway on the way home from work and pick up some things we needed.

I forgot to specify quantities.

I should not have forgotten to specify quantities because now I have forty-two bananas.

I tried to inquire in what I thought was a non-threatening tone. (Apparently I do not have a non-threatening tone.)

He claims that he intentionally picked out four bunches of bananas, each bunch at a different stage of ripeness.

But the light at Fairway is a tricky business, because in our kitchen, all the bananas were an identical shade of yellow-green.

Which means I’m going to be stuck with 30 brown bananas in a matter of days. (I will freeze them, you know, to make banana bread. I will then throw them out a week later to make room in the freezer. Intention is everything.)

“I guess I’m going to be eating a lot of bananas,” said M.

I guess you will be.

(Consequently, I have sixty five sticks of string cheese if anyone is interested.)

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Filed under children, food, footall, New York City, parenting, snow, weather, winter

Snowmaggedon

I must have brought the underwhelming, underperforming snow with me from Seattle.

All day long we were barraged with reports of coming blizzard that would shut the city down tomorrow. Sidney’s preschool was cancelled before her morning was over. The other kids had school cancelled before the first flakes fell. (Long Island is set to bear the brunt of the storm. I’d make a snarky comment here, but I’m technically bridge and tunnel now, so I really don’t have grounds for snark.)

To be fair, it has snowed. Somewhat.

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It just hasn’t snowed anywhere near enough to shut down this city, and it certainly hasn’t snowed enough (yet) to warrant a snow day. (Though this does beat Seattle’s snowless snow days.)

Still, in anticipation of a house full of perpetually hungry children on a constant snack-troll, I made some cookies. (Snow days are no way to begin a New Year’s health plunge. Nobody wants to snuggle up with a celery juice, not even me.)

My mixer is a constant reminder of both my dislike of baking and of my ability to kill any appliance that enters my kitchen.

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I have to switch it on and then whack it with my fist to get it whirring. If I desire a higher speed, I need to whack it again. Even though it appears to have 8 settings, it only has those two speeds. Sometimes I need to unplug it to shut it off. I’ve been known to shout at it, but that’s never gotten me anywhere. It seems I cannot even get an appliance to be subordinate.

I’m going to sleep now. I’ll need my wits about me tomorrow, what with all those children and that errant mixer.

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Filed under baking, children, cooking, food, New York City, parenting, winter