Tag Archives: summer

On the road again…

Facebookers, I see your happy family vacation pics and I raise you two: cleaning puke off a car seat and watching as two guys try and fix the dent in the car (made when I hit a pole earlier in the week) that is slowly shredding the tire.In my defense, I only ignored the dent because it happened when I was on my way home from the auto repair shop; the right door refused to open because of yes, all the dents. (I am nothing if not consistent.) 

(Big thanks to a certain neighbor and two passers by for helping out with that sitch.)

I have zero to say about the puking. It happens whenever she’s in the car for more than ten minutes. I put her on a bus to camp last week. She puked every day and three times on Wednesday. Needless to say, she is not going back. And that thing you’re about to suggest I try? I’ve tried it.

I romanticize these car trips in the planning. I have visions of singalongs, covered bridges and quirky bookstores. But in reality, one thing happens after another and before you know it you’re buying Febreze in Syracuse.

UPDATE: One week later we are driving home and I got to hold this: #StillWinning


Filed under Minivans, Road trip, Summer, Uncategorized


One summer, a few years ago, I had the rather lofty goal of teaching my kids to load their breakfast dishes into the dishwasher.

I don’t need to tell you how well that went.

This year, I’m not even bothering with the dishwasher. It is only week two of the summer and I just want to never see this again.


Filed under Summer

Personal Space

Summer means lots of things to me but mostly it means a complete lack of personal space. My home office, once a sanctuary of occasional productivity, has been overrun. I’d take a picture of it, but going in there makes me cry. I went to make my bed – albeit at noon – and found this.

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Filed under Summer

Summer SOS

Yesterday was the first day of summer and also the first day of summer vacation. Already, I am finding crap like this happening in my kitchen. 

In other news: anyone know how to remove spray paint from a computer screen? Asking for a friend.


Filed under Summer, Uncategorized


  I couldn’t be any more excited about this. I almost want to sleep outside to protect it.

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The Wall

On Wednesday of this week I hit the Wall, the Wall of exhaustion, hunger, dehydration, housework, meal-making, snack-making, fight-breaking, and sheer fedupness that is summer.

Unfortunately for me, I hit this Wall while in the car on the way to a place called Splashdown Beach.

The day was not going well. The heat had gotten to everyone’s heads, boredom seemed to have set in, school is rearing its head, and in general, there’s nothing like torturing a sibling to make all of the heat and angst go away.

A friend texted me that she was going to a water park that was an hour and ten minutes away. I, never one to fully read a text or email, only saw TEN MINUTES. Twenty minutes into the trip I realized my mistake. (I have to say I was particularly thankful that if I have to be driving it was not on the New Jersey freeways where it is perfectly normal to be cut off by enormous car carriers and 18 wheelers. I feel like I’m in a Transformers chase scene or a video game whenever I’m in the Garden State.)

Splashdown Beach is in a place called Fishkill. There is not much else to say about that.

While we were there I saw a man propose by the Splashdown Beach parrots. I am not kidding about this. There were flowers (a mixed bouquet, natch) and family members (all in bathing suits that couldn’t seem to decide if they were bikinis or full pieces) on hand. There was also crying, hugging, and a fair amount of mascara.

Where, I said to my friend R., does a couple go from here? What follows a proposal in front of the Splashdown Beach Parrots?

A wedding in Coney Island, she said. And not the good part.

There’s a good part? I asked.

No, she replied.

I lasted about two hours and had my fill. I don’t remember driving home, but when I walked in, I fell into bed and slept for 12 hours.


A few rules for next summer:

1. get more sleep.
2. don’t move.
3. if you are in the kitchen all day making snacks, make sure you eat more than the crumbs of their leftovers (half a fishstick and three peas is NOT a meal.)
4. avoid waterparks at the end of the summer when you are naturally running low on patience, compassion and tolerance for humanity.
5. teach the girls how to pee outside so you can once and for all avoid nasty public toilets.
6. bring a change of clothes for when they try to pee outside and pee all over themselves.
7. find the creators of Doc McStuffins and ask them to please stop.
8. don’t move. (I need to say that twice in case I forget.)

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Filed under New York City, parenting, Summer

Up in Yonkers.

This week I went to apply for my NY driver’s license. I don’t remember much about getting my license in Seattle but I appear to be smiling in the photograph and my hair was having a good moment. I do recall cheating off M for the written component of the California exam. Sadly, I was halfway through when I realized we had different tests.

Summer is exhausting. I got up early to run, jumped into the shower, and threw my hair into a bun atop my head, promising myself I’d think about it later. I got everyone to camp, blah, blah, and Frances and I made our way to the DMV.

In Yonkers.

(If any of you happen to find yourselves in downtown Yonkers, check out the Civil War memorial. My kids think I’ve never met a war memorial I didn’t like, especially a Great War memorial. But the Civil War is a crowd pleaser (In the crowd: Me), because there’s generally a canon around:


I filled out the paperwork and readied myself for my photo. I looked at the kind woman behind the desk.

“Up?” I asked, pointed at the hairy donut atop my head.

“Or down?” I said, pulling out the elastic and letting the mass of hair fall around me.

“Uh,” she said. “I think you might want to put it up.” And she quickly looked away. I honestly think she was concerned there would not be enough room in the photo frame for me and my hair. Or maybe she was afraid that if she looked at me for too long she’d turn to stone.

Up, it was. Up in Yonkers.

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Filed under children, New York City, summer camp