Here’s what I have learned so far.
1. This stuff is awesome.
2. I miss meat a little, but I do not miss cooking or eating chicken. This is surprising. M, who, if he could, would turn the smell of roast chicken into cologne, feels quite the opposite. (He confessed to me that he snarfed some chicken at his parents’ house last week.)
3. Hanna’s miso salmon (see previous blog post) is spectacular. I made it two days in a row.
4. Overall, the kids are impressing me with their sense of culinary adventure… Which was really the whole point of this stunt of fleshlessness.
5. It’s good to know your audience. My friend S gave me a recipe for chickpea fritters which included fresh parsley. My kids will eat herbs in a salad but if they appear in cooked food, looking all menacing, green and stringy: game over. I omitted the parsley — SUCCESS WAS MINE.
6. Sort of. Next lesson – BEWARE FOOD DOPPLEGANGERS. The above chickpea fritters looked remarkably like peanut butter cookies.
Poor Efram took a bite thinking he was getting a cookie. He was unable to move past the disappointment.
7. Not all my adventures in vegetarianism will be a success: I made a revolting chana masala for Friday night dinner. It had the texture of vomit and the taste of tin foil. M, who would probably give away a child before he threw out food, tossed the entire pot into the trash. (I would tell you where the recipe is from, to warn you for making the same mistake. But M said mine didn’t remotely resemble the picture in the recipe, so I assume the mistake was all mine.)
8. Tomorrow is Meatless Mother’s Day. Honestly, I do not care if the children eat my food tomorrow. All I want for Mother’s Day is for them to be nice to me. All day. And do whatever I want.
This is the Corner We Pee In 
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